June 19, 2016
Dear Bob,
Today, I finally found the courage to write to you about my loss, yes, losing you. Since you left, life has stopped. To no end, the sorrow dominates my heart, mind and physical well-being – consuming, paralyzing, unforgiving sorrow. Many questions come to mind – Are you happy where you are? Why did you leave me? How about me and Harper and Shirley who are missing you so much?
A year ago we did so many wonderful things in our lovely home – new paint inside and outside, new kitchen, improved backyard. Moving around them without you gives me such sadness. The roses suddenly gave up, while the hydrangeas became too slow with their blooms. No trips, no shopping.
Waking up every day has become too much of an effort that Harper is very upset. He expects you to show up but decided that he’ll be the man of the house, more protective than ever of me and Shirley.
A young couple fell in love with our home. Not surprising because our home is filled with the aura of love for each other. In every corner, there is an imprint of our presence, mutual bond, pride and joy, to live each day, intertwined by every fiber of our heart.
Durgesh and Bakul invited some of the neighborhood friends for lunch at the place to say goodbye to us. Very sad time to leave this place after many years of waving to our neighbors, decorating at Christmas, elections at our garage and you knowing all the dogs and their owners.
Nice time to bond with Mon and Lety in their neighborhood except Harper seems to question why we are not home. He misses the grassy areas to walk on and sniff and quite unhappy walking on concrete sidewalks, not too good on his paws.
At the moment, we’re staying at Durgesh and Bakul’s home while they are away on vacation. From the window I can see our yard with the roses, hydrangea and gladiola blooms, apple tree and the beautiful arbor. Suddenly, they don’t have much meaning anymore without you and me in it.
Friday was Shirley’s birthday, not in the mood for celebration, she says, reflecting on last year’s trip to the Giants game and dinner at Delancey Street Restaurant and the many celebrations we’ve had.
Today is Father’s Day. I happened to glance at the card section at Walgreen’s and cried, staring at cards for my loving husband. You know how much I love cards – love, sentimental, funny – love giving them. It breaks my heart that you won’t be standing at church when Fr. Ray gives blessings to all the fathers.
As Harper and I walked this morning, we paused at an area with steps toward the hill, picturing those steps as staircase to heaven. As before, I cried talking to you and God, birds flying, as if feeling my pain, whispering in my heart that as tomorrow and more tomorrows come, darkness will turn into light, lonely days and nights will turn into joy.
Until then, my love, pray to keep me strong to survive this indescribable sorrow. Happy Father’s Day! Love, Normita
Comments
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Mario Sto Domingo Beautiful prose with so much heart. Thanks for sharing ANormita. Prayers for KBob.
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Jacob Malen How can something sad be as beautiful ♡? Praying for your continual healing po.
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Judy OConnor Normita – What an incredibly beautiful letter of love and tribute to your husband.. Your loss is deep and only time will help you find some peace because that’s what your husband would want for his beautiful wife. The pain will always be with you — t…See More
Pat Mosquera Stay strong with faith and hope. Bob watches over you. I know your feeling. God bless you.
Mamerta Soriano Cabrera I truly understand your feeling , just let it out
Our family & friends love us
We have to be strong for them…See More
Our family & friends love us
We have to be strong for them…See More
Bakul Mehta Normita, what a tribute to Bob on Father’s Day? Your letter touched my heart deeply. Bob would love to see you happy. Durgesh and I will be always remain your friends and family and we are just around the corner Please be strong.
Normita Fenn Thanks to everyone for expressing support as I journey. Life for me, Harper and Shirley is very different to say the least but the challenges are getting less stressful. Please continue to pray for Bob and for all his loved ones.
Lucy Bautista What a message of undying love, sadness & life without your loved one. So heart penetrating ,that I was teary eyed & my chest felt so tight.
Ate Normita I think of you always & always praying that each day will get better & better for you. Be strong!! Take care!
Ate Normita I think of you always & always praying that each day will get better & better for you. Be strong!! Take care!
Nora Domingo You have the most wonderful writings which I so enjoy. Whatever gives you joy and consolation then by all means keep writing these beautiful sentiments of love. We are blessed and grateful that you share them. Time will heal. 🙏🏼
Dizon Edita Hi “HELLO” Ate Normita Fenn , It’s difficult to know what to say just NOW .. except that you’re thought of , in my prayers , sympathy and friendship. May the Lord’s kindness and love bless you each and everyday and may He give you peace in your hear…See More
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